b"The Great Eastern Mail DECEMBER 16, 2022 09crossword advice - ask EmmaACROSS1. Grain storehouse5. Looked9. Finger-shaped pastries10. Hawk's claw11. Large sea mammal12. Prevailing weather13. Crazy15. Diameter halves17. Stared lasciviously at20. Microphone21. . & downs23. Drooping in the middle27. Bring about30. Prepared32. Food energy unit33. Lock horns34. Fail (of computer)35. The devil (3,4)36. Abandoned37. First Bible bookDOWN1. Shredding2. Lower leg bracelet Holiday hiding3. Office4. Squealing5. Pained expression6. Reply7. Scaredy-cat8. Black mark14. Bloodsuckers16. Entertain Emma Woodcock is a Registered Counsellor working with 17. Naval exercises adolescents and adults with a broad range of difficulties, including 18. Bottled gas (1,1,1)19. Actress, Doris . anxiety, depression, PTSD, stress, self-esteem difficulties, amongst 22. Very chilly (3-4) many others. With experience in several evidence-based therapy 24. Subtly referred modalities, Emma utilises skills from CBT, ACT, DBT, motivational 25. Devouring interviewing, polyvagal therapy and more. Emma offers a practical 26. Small red Asian fruits28. Seventh planet approach to therapy, helping clients develop a personal 'toolkit of 29. Repeats strategies and skills, so that they feel empowered to deal with lifes 30. Estimate challenges everyday.31. Counting deviceEmma Woodcock2.Expectations uncomfortable.Fill the grid so that every column, every rowsudoku Counsellor Expectations of perfection areIt also helps to have a plan and every 3x3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9. easy to fall into at this time ofif a boundary is ignored. Q: Dear Emma, I am reallyyear with the extra pressure.For example:DIFFICULTY: HHHHH 3044 DIFFICULTY: HHHHH 3045 dreading the holidayKeeping your expectationsI will respectfully excuse SOLUTIONS CAN BEFOUND ON PAGE 19season coming up withrealistic helps to navigate themyself if the conversation extra social commitmentsseason with kindness. Try tomakes me uncomfortable and uninvited comments.view inevitable missteps asand people will not change I just want to crawl under aopportunities to exercise yourthe topic.rock and hide. My relativesflexibility and resilience.I will use an agreed all make critical commentsA crooked tree or a burntsignal with my partner, so and I just ending uproast wont ruin your day,that they can come and dreading seeing them all.instead it can create a familysupport me in difficult How do I cope with it all?memory filled with laughterconversations.It feels too rude to justand humility. If your familysIf I feel very stressed at cancel everything and staygift list and requests arelunch, I will go and play at home on my own! getting too expensive, talkwith the kids for a while to them about realisticor head outside for a few A: Hi there, family getexpectations and remindminutes.togethers can be fraught withthem that the holidays aren't4.Breaksdifficult situations to navigate,about expensive gifts. word find - Christmas Cheer cant they? I recommendOffer constructive limits orMost of us feel pressure to paying attention to FOUR keyalternatives that fall withingmake decisions or respond areas for navigate this busyyour budget and capacity.quite instantly. And the J E N A C Y D N A C D A T N A S season. Despite what the movies mayholiday period can emphasise have us believe, Christmas isthis causing extra stress for 1. Acceptance not about being perfect. Itsus.Rather than react, learn to K Q P A S P T E W S T H G I L A respond. It's all in the pause. Acceptance is oftenabout being present in our discussed in Acceptance andlives, just as it is every otherUse the pause to challenge R U D O L P H Q O Y B D Y O V M Commitment Therapy (ACT)day of the year. your immediate thoughts by and refers to the process ofbroadening your focus to the Y H A H T R B W H T Q Z R V R T actively choosing to allow3.Boundaries bigger picture. A helpful tool unpleasant experiences toBoundaries are healthyto work on is called THINK.Z T E Z D E W J B V E A G J E S exist, without trying to denyguides we set ourselves toT - TRUE - Is this thought or change them. help keep us sane! They100% true? What are the facts D A I G F S B E U U C L S O E I For a Christmas setting itare not brick walls to keepand what are the opinions?may sound like changing theothers out. As author andH - HELPFUL - Is paying S E Z V I E Y T B O S S T V D R thought I want to see family,researcher Bren Brown says:attention to this useful to me BUT I am too anxious, to IDaring to set boundaries isor others?U R T J I N G L E B E L L S N H want to change, AND I amabout having the courageI - INSPIRING - Does this anxious about it. Both coexistto love ourselves, eventhought inspire me or the as truths at once and neitherwhen we risk disappointingopposite, discourage?A W D H S T G I L M L E X D I C cancels the other out.others. We can't base ourN - NECESSARY - Is it Remember its okay ifown worthiness on others'important for me to focus or E E C K N S A E Q O O I R B E M you dont feel folded withapproval. act on?excitement for Christmas,K - KIND - Is this thought W B S F D D S N R N H G X Z R V dont put up shedloadsBoundaries at Christmaskind? If not, what would be a of decorations, if you feelcould sound like: kinder thought?P T H Y K N D Z A B I H Z W Z F stressed at the thought ofAn uncomfortable topic family gathering, are worriedcomes up: Id prefer not toI am not saying you must R E G N I K C O T S R Q Z D S G financially or are just nottalk about this today. Letsdo every one of these okay at Christmas. Nonemove onto another topicsuggestions, but I hope that S A H T J U H B S A F E F L S N of these feelings are bad inso we can all enjoy eachjust one resonates with you. themselves.others company So, why dont you give that Try to let them existComments on eating orsuggestion a go as you try to U B U S L Y K I Y I O A A R L Z navigate what is right for you without creating any actionbody appearance: Id from you. This is calledprefer you not to commentwith more ease?X F D V A Y X K I R V L C D Y R unhooking and can reallyon my eating habits orAll the best, Emma.Got a question you want help release us from pressurebody. Thank you for Can you find the following words? that comes with feeling werespecting that. Emma to answer? have to action or resolveCriticism: Please dont sayEmail Emma:SANTA SLEIGH PRESENTS TINSEL everything. that to me. It makes meadvice.gem@gmail.comCHRISTMAS JINGLE-BELLS GINGERBREAD STOCKING Ask Emma is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, CAROLS NOEL LIGHTS RUDOLPH diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your GP, mental-health professional, or other qualified ELVES NATIVITY HOLLY STAR health provider with any questions you may have. By submitting a question, you are agreeing to let The Great REINDEER WREATH MISTLETOE CANDYCANE Eastern Mail use it and we may edit it for length and/or clarity."