b"12 NOVEMBER 4, 2022 The Great Eastern Mailadvice - ask Emma food & wineTaking time to listen Prep Time: 5 mins serves1Emma Woodcock is a Registered Counsellor working with adolescents and adults with a broad range of difficulties, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, stress, self-esteem difficulties, amongst many others. With experience in several evidence-based therapy modalities, Emma utilises skills from CBT, ACT, DBT, motivational interviewing, polyvagal therapy and more. Emma offers a practical approach to therapy, helping clients develop a personal 'toolkit of strategies and skills, so that they feel empowered to deal with lifes challenges everyday.Emma WoodcockThis question helps us to learn tofor your inner voice. The key to Counsellor see the thought in different wayskindness is understanding. Your from how it presents itself. inner critic is doing its best to protect Q: Dear Emma, I have a loudCan you add the word yet to theyou from feelings of fear and shame. inner voice that is alwaysthought? For example, I cantIn its own way, its trying to help, bringing me down. I cant seemdo this becomes I cant do thisalthough its just not going about to shake the negative thoughtsyet. This question helps createhelping in the best way. Knowing this in my head. I have tried thinkingperspective.can change how we perceive and positively and it just doesnt stick.How does the thought make yourelate with our inner critic. It frees us How can I learn to be kinder tofeel? This question teaches us toto acknowledge and respond to our myself and really believe it? notice any bigger narratives aboutinner critic with empathy. ourselves that we may be holdingFor example, staying with the A: Thank you for writing in. Thisonto and to name our feelings. above thought used earlier it would question is so beautiful because itsWhat would things be like iflook like this:vulnerable and something we allyou didnt hold this belief? ThisInner critic: I cant believe you did can relate to because we all have anquestion helps to redirect ourthat. You never do anything right!inner critic. Our inner critics voicethoughts by having us imagineKind response: Oh, hi inner critic. can be loud and negative. The trutha future without this thoughtI know you are trying to protect is, we are never going to completelyand how this would look in yourme from feeling embarrassed Orangesilence our inner critic. Let's get thatrelationships, energy levels andand vulnerable but its really okay. unhelpful expectation out of themotivation. Mistakes are part of learning. I can way. But the good news is that weThe second step is to befriendgrow from this.can learn to reframe the thoughts soyour inner voice. Now that we haveTo have empathy is to understand that it's not so loud or negative in ourunderstood that what our inner criticthe feelings of another. It does notFizzhead!is saying is not necessarily a fact ormean you become their thoughts or The first step is to realise youra truth, we can learn to respond tofeelings but rather that you can see thoughts are not facts. You see,it better. We can talk to our innerwhy they are there. Teachyour inner thoughts are simply events thatcritic as a younger you who youcritic as you teach yourself and you pop up in our minds, rather likewant to be friends with. Respondingwill find yourself on a pathway to ads on a website. We dont alwayswith kindness certainly takes thekindness and freedom.ask for them to be there. Not everywind out of its sails. After all, if youUltimately, the key to treating thought we have is true or accurate,wouldn't say it to a friend, why say ityourself with kindness is really in so how we respond to those eventsto yourself?listening to yourself in love andTurn ordinary orange juice into (thoughts) matters. Do we see everyA useful tool to practise this wouldwithout judgement. Pay attentiona tangy and fizzy drink with this event (thought) as truth, or can webe to write down your inner criticto yourself. You truly deserve to learn to pause and process themthought and your response. Heres anbe listened to and treated withdelicious blend!before accepting them?example.intentionality and kindness.Here are four simple questionsInner critic: I cant believe you didAll the best, Emma.provided by Elisha Goldstein histhat. You never do anything right! ingredientsbook, Uncovering Happiness, that weKind response: You made aGot a question you want Emma ice cubescan ask ourselves to help with thatmistake, but you can learn from this.to answer? 1 cup orange juiceprocess.It is not the end of the world. Email Emma:cup tonic waterIs this thought 100% accurate?Then finally, learn to have empathyadvice.gem@gmail.com 1 teaspoon lemon juiceAsk Emma is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your GP, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider withmethodany questions you may have. By submitting a question, you are agreeing to let Great Eastern Mail use it and we may1.Fill a glass with ice cubes. Pour in the orange juice, tonic water and lemon edit it for length and/or clarity. juice. 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